What The Fork, Man?!

I’ll start right off with the good news. The dealership had the part and it seems to have fixed the leak in the rear door! That being said, there was only a light rain following and not a monsoon, so we haven’t had a REAL test of it.

Anyway, we picked a really good couple of days to go adventuring. Monday’s weather was perfect for driving…..my ideal driving weather, really – partly sunny, cool, and little to no breeze. It was a good thing, because work ran really late on Sunday night, so we didn’t get back to the house until 1am, and into bed until 2, with a 7:30 wake up. Anyone who’s ever interacted with me (or read previous blogs) could probably confirm that if I am not well rested, I’m about as useless as if I’d been out partying and drinking all night. So that was a blemish on my otherwise perfect drive, but thankfully it wasn’t a compounded situation.

We left early because I had on my calendar that the appointment was at 1pm, but I hadn’t notated which time zone (usually when I’m driving over to CST, I make a note in the calendar of which time zone 1pm means), so we had to leave with the thought that it might be in EST. Or CST. Whichever one means we needed to be there earlier. See, this is already/still confusing, and why I usually make calendar notes. Anyway, as soon as we hit the Wisconsin border and were back in cell range, Jack called and confirmed that it was their time, so we had an extra hour. We went to Walmart to see about getting Jack an eye exam, because although I find it incredibly delightful when Jack wears cheaters on cheaters to read a menu or anything on his phone, it’s probably time for bifocals, or at least a pair of properly fitted prescription specs, not to mention that it’s probably been 25 years since he’s had an eye exam.

At Walmart, we were informed that the earliest available appointment was later in the week, so we went in search of provisions - an energy drink of some variety, doggie bags and leash (see above about how useful and functional I am when tired), and a snack. Now this shouldn’t have been difficult, but two things: 1 – lack of sleep; 2 – I started keto last week because after a summer/fall/winter of delightful abandonment, I’m uncomfortably rotund, so not only am I into my keto flu phase of it, but it also limits what I can and cannot shove into my gaping gourd. The combo of this caused me to be unable to make decisions well (which again, anyone who knows me would be able to tell you I don’t frequently suffer with lack-of-decision-making skills), so I basically followed Jack around the deli section of the store like a gosling, staring, pointing, and trying not to cry (PMS, fatigue, and because one of the kids in Garden died the morning prior in a car accident (2 days before his 21st……really sweet, really nice young man, talented guitar player, everyone’s friend), which in any situation is horrible and saddening, but I think it’s felt a little differently in such a small, close-knit community).

A handful of random items later, and we were on our way to RAM. Very nice customer service there, the puppy was MORE than welcome there, and in fact bumped up my military discount from 10 to 20% (had a charge for installing rain guards on the front windows – don’t worry, I would have lost my marble(s) if they’d presented me with anything other than well-wishes as far as the rear door shit goes). He’s a good boy, and the cute factor goes a long way.

It all took a little longer than we would have liked, so we didn’t stop for lunch because, well, it was almost time for an early bird special at that point and we wanted to get to North Shore early enough for dinner, drinks, and a round of golf. We did not. By the time we got to the golf course, we discovered that it was league night, and the pro shop was closed. The banquet/bar area was open, so we did get to have a bevvie (and I got to see one of the lovely bartenders from last summer and finally met the manager, Tom, whom I somehow managed to miss all three times I stayed last year), but the communal league dinner (Monday thing, apparently) was a chicken bacon ranch noodle concoction, so I was once again fucked, foodwise. It was around then that the mosquitoes were coming out in force, so we retreated to Hecate and decided to call it an early night. Jack’s snores were light enough that I wasn’t tempted to smother him with a pillow (are those jokes less funny now, given my recent family background? No? Do I even care?), and we slept in a bit since it was raining cats and dogs.

Now it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, metaphorically speaking….as we were finishing up the drive, somewhere between Escanaba and home, a good 2+ hours from the Green Bay dealership, water started dripping from the SOS button up front in between the captain and co-pilot chair. Of course it did. Why wouldn’t it? At this point, since they are apparently the closest warranty-servicing dealer (even though there are dealerships in both Esky and Marquette - WTF, man?), I will just have to call and let them know this is a thing that’s happening so they can make notes of it in my service record for future fixing.
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At this point, all I can do is laugh, and hear in my head James saying, “What an adventure!”